Life on earth as an incarnated angel
You wake up.. being human, but you have no idea where you are and what you are. What is this place? With confusion you look to the world, to the people, to the places… and you can’t be anything else but shocked. You feel like an outcast, a stranger, an alien. You just don’t understand.
As a toddler you feel completely alone and different. You observe, you think, you feel… you try to make sense of everything that is happening. The children in your school, the teachers, the playground, your parents, your home. You’re human… but you don’t feel human. You don’t know what you are… but you are different.
You don’t understand the tasks in school, the structure, the sitting still and listening. You don’t understand people’s behavior. And the weird thing is… nobody else seems to feel or think like this. They all think it’s normal… but you.. no… you can’t concentrate… you feel everything that is going on around you, the thoughts people are thinking, the feelings they are feeling,…
You wonder how they do it? You wonder what the point is? You look human, you are like a human, you must be human, so you must be the same as them… but how come you still feel different. You wonder: what is wrong with me? Am I stupid? Weaker? You wonder… then, and in later life, why can’t I keep up?
As a teenager.. people hate you or love you. And you have some friends. You do this human thing. You go to school, have a social life, go to parties, study… but there is something missing. You still feel… completely alone. You don’t understand. It’s like nobody gets you… you wonder if even you get you… and what’s even the point? You are different, but you learned to behave in a way that is acceptable. It looks like you have friends and connections… but you don’t… it’s not the kind of love or connection that you are used to… it’s like you feel them… but they don’t feel you. It’s like you’re surrounded by an invisible wall and people can’t get through.. they just don’t feel you. you wonder: why can I feel them and they can’t feel me? why am I always there for them and them not for me? How can they leave somebody in pain? Because you could never ever do that… knowing somebody would be in pain, even if it is your worst enemy… you wouldn’t think twice about being there, helping them.. because you feel their pain.. and it’s crushing!
You think there must be something wrong with you. you’re not good enough. Because nobody can seem to feel your pain, or you think they do but don’t want to be there for you. So you wonder what’s wrong with you? Or with them?
Growing up with parents that don’t seem to even know the word ‘emotions’ or ‘love’ or ‘support’ and all you have to do is behave and be a good girl (or boy)… but even when you try to do that.. it still isn’t good enough… You feel lost, exhausted, unseen, and completely neglected. It’s like nobody cares how you feel! Don’t they feel how you feel? How can they not feel me? Everybody can feel each other right? So if they know that I feel so in pain and alone? Then why do they leave me like this? How can they even do this? How can they even make it worse by saying it’s my fault, and I’m the bad person, and I should change?
You long for this love that you know exists… but somehow.. in your own home… with your friends… it’s not there.. you long for a partner who feels you and wants the best for you. You long for the kind of love that lifts up the both of you. You long for something that you can barely describe. Like a sparkling light that surrounds you and merges with you. You just want to feel home. You want to belong. And nothing and nobody in your life has ever made you feel this way. So you ask for you soulmate, your team partner, your second half, your home on earth!
And what you get are people that only want to hurt you. And you don’t understand… you really don’t understand! Why would they deliberately want to hurt you? Why? How can they not care? Don’t they feel my pain? Or they just don’t care?
But relationship after relationship…. You still haven’t found your home on earth… you have only found people that wanted to hurt you… people that manipulated you, played you, deceived you… You can’t believe people can be so bad… why? Why do they WANT to crush me?
Even though you are human so you lose it sometimes, you get angry, you get mad, you get emotional… good! And even saying: you fucking asshole! You still can’t stay mad at them… because you can see the good in them… and that is the only thing you have ever seen. The good… the light.. their beautiful soul.. even tho they act like a manipulative narcissist… you just don’t believe in evil.
Being there for everybody who needs you, staying with ‘bad’ people that only want to take your light, living in this high paced society and working your ass off after college… you get sick.. even tho you have had mystery symptoms your whole life… this time it’s really taking a toll on you.. and eventually… you are a prisoner in your own body… a body that doesn’t work with you, but only against you…
There’s no.. absolutely no energy left inside of you. Even tho you are a warrior and you still feel your inner light shining that never ever gives up… you can’t help but wonder: how long is my body going to take this? Lying on the couch… completely exhausted… not just tired… but completely drained of energy… for days, months, years…
Of course nobody ever finds a disease or perhaps after years and years of being sick. You get diagnosed by chronic fatigue syndrome, auto immune diseases,… but still… most people think it’s all in your head… and again you are asking the same questions: what is wrong with me? why don’t I function like normal people?
You are a fucking incarnated angel that has never had a body and that has never known anything else then pure love. You don’t understand why people act evil, because evil doesn’t exist where you came from. You also didn’t have any boundaries, and now being human it is hard to see where you end and the other one begins. You feel what they feel but they don’t. And that’s what makes it so confusing. Yes you are different, but not weaker. You give more, because you are used to giving and shining your light onto someone or something.
You’re a free loving spirit. You can’t be constricted or told what to do. As an incarnated angel on earth you have to find ways to be as free as possible. And to survive in this human form you have to realise that there is evil here on earth. And that it’s very important to have your boundaries and always follow your instincts and feelings. You will come into contact with a lot of evil. Because they literally want your energy or can’t stand your light. Even the narcisissts you’ve met will probably be partly taken over by entities. You can see it when they suddenly start talking differently, and have those psycho eyes, saying cold, harsh or cruel words. You know it’s not them, you can feel they are taken over.
Yes life is confusing, the world is confusing, people are confusing… but let yourself guide by your feelings, your instinct. They will always tell you: back away or ‘feels good’. when you feel this ‘back away’ ‘run’! and you wonder why because this person doesn’t seem bad… still trust your gut. Because you feel things the eyes won’t see, the mind won’t pick up,… but vibrationally you will feel it.
As an angel you will be attracting a lot of darkness. There is nothing wrong with you, on the contrary, you are full of light and an amazing person. Set boundaries, get to know yourself and this human body.
Does that mean you will never found this kind of ‘home’ or ‘love’ on earth? Oh you will! Once you leave the darkness for what it is, instead of giving it your light, once you set boundaries and connect with the love you have felt before you came here. You won’t only find the love in yourself, but you will meet people who are incarnated angels as well, or starseeds, elementals, old souls… who can really see and feel you. And you will find somebody who, just as you, knows and feels a deeper sense of love, that most people on earth don’t yet feel, a deeper connection. So together you’ll be able to create a home on earth. Because home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling of belonging, and you will belong to each other. still… importantly to say is: you are still human and you will still face human emotions and struggles, so there has to be the will and intention to go through these struggles and emotions together and understand what is happening, learning to respect and know each other, having only the best intentions for each other and the relationship, let each other free, or even letting them go when you need to…
Lot’s of love and courage to my fellow incarnated angels
Wonder what your mission is here? You’re already doing it. Your love is healing the world. And if you feel like helping, counseling, teaching, writing or anything else that feels good to you… do it! But remember to balance your energy!